...

Home.......

2008-11-04T01:57:41Z

Six months. Home.

I love my wife. Happy birthday sweetness. :)

Cable One Blows Goats

2008-05-20T21:02:39Z

Technically I'm not even a customer yet, and I'm already completely dissatisfied.

I ordered service online from Cable One on May 15th. Upon completion of all their little forms and what not, I got this email...

Thank you for ordering your home entertainment service with Cable ONE.
Your order is being processed and your installation date is scheduled.
We will contact you using the information provided if we have any questions concerning your order.

Should you have any questions, need to make changes to your service, feel free to contact us at (228) 769-1221 during office hours.

Date:5/20/2008
Time Slot:PM
Package Information: 2 Pack: Cable + Internet Price: $64.00
Order Price Total = $64.00
Prices do not include applicable fees or taxes.

Type of customer: New
Verification id: ---
First Name:Trevor
Last Name:********
Address 1:*************
Address 2:
City:Pascagoula
State:MS
Zip Code:39581
Phone Number:*********
Fax Number:
Email Address:***************

Thank you again for your order
Cable ONE

This email confirms your installation date, so print/save it for future reference. We make every effort to be accurate, but we cannot be responsible for changes, cancellations, or postponements announced after this email is sent.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but this pretty much sounds like they're saying that I've completed my order, and that I've got an install date. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what they mean when they say "Thank you for ordering" (twice), "Your installation date is scheduled", and "This email confirms your installation date".

The reason I bring this up is that when I arrived here this morning, that's morning, as in before noon, and I must emphasis this because my scheduled time for today is "PM". Anyway, this morning when I arrived, there were three Cable One trucks in the lot. In fact I almost got hit by one as he was leaving because the moron was driving on the wrong side of the lot near a blind(ish) corner. Yet the 2 that I asked, weren't here to do an install for me. And by 1pm they were gone. And I had not received a call. So I waited until about 3pm and called them.

Yes, once again, I'm on the phone with Cable One. Apparently their service department is a bit more keen to answer their phones than their sales department. Maybe they've discovered that if you're calling the service department you're already pissed off, whereas the sales department still has the opportunity to deeply anger and frustrate you. Anyway. I politely ask if they're going to be arriving any time soon because I've not received a call from an installer, and I know they generally do that before coming out. They've got no idea who the hell I am. I had a feeling this was the case. The woman starts to ask for my information and I inform her that she's already got my information because I have an email from Cable One saying that I've already placed an order and that my installation date is today, at nowish PM o'clock. She doesn't know why corporate sends those emails out, so I ask her if she knows why it's okay that they confirm an order, do nothing about it, and let someone take half a day off to sit around and wait for the cable company to, umm, do nothing. She doesn't know the answer to that question either.

They're not really very good at this customer service or first impressions thing.

The new install date is the 22nd. At PM o'clock. Which just happens to be the same day the furniture and stuff gets here. We'll see how well that turns out...

Stupid people suck

2008-05-13T18:00:59Z

Okay, time for a rant.

I'm the first one to admit that I have no patience for people who are either A) Stupid, or B) Deaf. This is not Deaf as in "my ears don't work" this is Deaf as in "my brain doesn't work when stuff comes in my ears", or "I choose not to listen because I have a script in front of me and I will just keep reading it until the person on the other end of the phone goes away so I can take my break and chain smoke cigarettes while I swill down sweet tea that's as thick as tar and dream about how much money I would make working in the titty bar down the street."

So what has my knickers all twisted? I called the local cable company to ask them the simple question "Once the promotional period is over, what does this service cost." -- I looked on the website, and of course the info is buried. After a few minutes of looking I heard that little voice in my head say "You should just ask someone...", and hell, everyone is always telling me "Just call them!", so I figured what the hell, I'll give it a try. Well guess what people, there's a damn reason I don't call them. I have no patience for idiots, and 90% of the time, the person who is paid to answer the phone has so little invested in their job that I'm just someone they have to not piss off so much I call their manager. Who probably doesn't care either, but will file a report because they have to.

I'm getting (sort of) off topic. Anyway. So I call the local cable company. I go through the automated menu, get connected where I'm supposed to get connected and someone answers. Or at least they pick up the phone, I can hear them breathe as the pick up the receiver, and punch the hold button. These systems have an automatic ring back, so about 30 seconds later, click, half a breath, click, back on hold. 8 minutes of this, that's 16 clicks, and 8 breaths, and I'm vexed.

We'll call her the mouth breather. Not because she's necessarily a mouth breather, but because my first introduction to her is her breathing. And being labeled as a mouth breather has delightful connotations of a simple minded, simian like, knuckle dragging pervert.

So the simple question, simply is; "Once the promotional period is over, what does the service cost". See, I've done this before, normally you get the bundle deal, it costs just a little less than an arm and a leg, but just little enough that it's almost worth it. 6 months down the road the bill doubles, you crap yourself, call them up scream "What the fuck?!?", and everyone compromises with you getting a discount. But being on a budget, I want to know how hard I'll be screaming when the screaming happens. It gives me time to prepare my voice and all.

Apparently I actually meant to ask "How does the phone service work?", and "What's a DVR?", and "How many channels do you get?", and "Do you get local channels?" and "Is it in HiDef?", and "What is HD?", and "How many TVs can I use?", and "How does the Internet work?"... See, this is how I come full circle with the script comment back at the beginning of the rant. You like that don't you? Skills. Anyway. The mouth breathing, titty bar aspirant attempted to answer each of those questions, even though I didn't ask them. Five more minutes of her trying to explain each service, and my interrupting her saying "Yes, I know, but how much does the bundle cost after the promotional period is over?"...

It takes an additional four minutes to get the answer to my question. The answer being that the only service that will go up in price is the basic cable, by $13. At this point I said "Thanks, bye" and hung up the phone. Totally cutting her off in mid-spiel. And giving me some minimal degree of satisfaction.

It took roughly 17 minutes to get the answer to my question. It took me 17 minutes to get so frustrated and annoyed that the only desire I have right now is the desire to blow shit up in an incredibly violent video game. So yes, there is a reason I don't pick up the phone and "just call them". If I did that every time I had a question, I would be in jail for assault.

The moral of the story kids, is that apathy leads to someone trying to kill you. :)

Piggy boy...

2008-04-28T04:22:32Z

He's back........

What's the first thing he does?

Takes a shit that's so foul that the berry-scented spray he uses in the bathroom can't cover it up.

What's the second thing he does?

Starts eating!!!

I swear to god, if there is some reason why I have to live with him for more than the next month, I will end up harming him.

I know, there are much more interesting things I could be posting about right now, but I needed to vent.

...

2008-03-29T05:58:46Z

Repeat this out loud:

"I'm Sofa King we Todd did."

Trust me, you'll feel much better afterward. If you don't get it, try saying it in front of someone else. They'll feel better too.

Tee-hee!

Latest run

2008-03-25T01:44:47Z

Today's run:

No, I wasn't doing fartleks (I really hate that term) there just isn't any scale to this graph. Between the start and the end of the graph my overall pace declined by 1 minute 7 seconds. In other words, I started at a 7:39/mi pace, and ended at a 8:46/mi pace.

Anyway... back to watching Smallville. About halfway through season 5 right now.

Running stuff...

2008-03-25T01:41:30Z

I'm really grooving on the Nike+ thing. All the little added things make this system really worth the initial expense. One of the aspects I particularly like is the challenges feature. Basically it's a "who can run X miles in X amount of time" or "fastest 5k" or "UK vs. US first team to 10000 miles"... Things like that. It lends a sense of community, as well as a bit of competitive drive.

Now I'm not just running because I'm feeling fat. I'm running because I want to beat the rest of the people on the list...

Another feature I like is the goals feature. Pretty straightforward really, but it gives a personal milestone at arbitrary points. My current goal for '08 is 150 miles. At the rate I'm going I'll have that in very short amount of time.

Of course the main reasons I got it was for the features during the run. Being able to get audible feedback like how fast I'm running, how far I've gone, etc. In other words, I got really tired of losing count of which lap I was on, which happens almost immediately. All the other things are a nice bonus which will hopefully keep me running.

Speaking of nifty features, after I finished my run today, a voice came on and said "This is Joan Benoit Samuelson, that was your longest workout yet! Congratulation!" ... Kind tripped me out, particularly since I had no idea who she was. Turns out she's a pretty important figure in the history of running. She won gold for the womens marathon at the first olympics to actually have a womens marathon. Pretty cool the Nike got her to record that message. I wonder what other little goodies are stashed away inside this system...

Easter Eggs

2008-03-22T21:57:32Z

I know it's easter weekend and all, but I'm not talking about that kind of easter egg. I'm talking about the easter eggs that are little cool things stuck into a program or game that does something unexpected. Kind of like the flight simulator that was programmed into Excel 97 back in the day. Open a new document, hit F5, type in X97:L97, hit enter, press tab, click on the chard wizard button while holding down Control and Shift, and whammo, you're in a flight simulator.

Well, I think I found an easter egg on my phone. Nothing nearly as complex or cool as the excel flight sim, but still interesting. While texting my lovely wife I punched in "ger". I have T9 turned on on my V3M, so it tries to provide me with suitable completions for words. Most of the time it's useless, and I guess the way I've got it trained, it now thinks that "H" is a more common single word than "I". It's more of an annoyance than anything, and it provides valid completions about 10% of the time, with a higher level of frequency for words I use all the time. "Sweetness" has the highest level of auto completion success on my phone, go figure.

Anyway, T9 believes the most probable completion for "ger" is apparently "gerchanovsky". I know for a fact that I've never punched that word into my phone, hence the belief that it's an easter egg. I find it highly unlikely that the most common completion for the prefix "ger" is "gerchanovsky". Considering a word like "german" has to come up more often in speech. I guess the Germans are no longer germane any more.

A search via google provides no ready explanation for this behavior, however it does provide a blog entry by another individual mentioning the same weirdness...

No more poop!

2008-03-11T03:18:32Z

When I'm king people will no longer poop. At least not like they do now. Instead we will develop a new organ which creates an ultra dense pellet of fecal matter that will be pooped once a month. You'll always be able to know when you're getting full because your weight will go up, and subsequently your gas mileage will go down.

Benefits:

Someone says "You're full of shit.", you can honestly reply with "No, actually I've got 2 more weeks to go."

Having a light lunch will take on a whole new meaning.

Shitting bricks will be a bit more realistic, as an ultra dense pellet of fecal matter would have a density much closer to that of a brick.

In line with the previous benefit, a brick shit house would also take on a whole new meaning.

...

So whats with the fecal theme? I've been eating bean burritos for days, averaging at least half a can of beans a day. While I haven't been gassy (for some reasons Amy's organic refried and black beans don't treat me all that poorly) I've started to become, well, uncomfortable. I shudder to think what this means. Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to head back to the store and find another cheap every day meal that tastes good and is cheap.

My new workout routine is kicking my ass, not enough that I'm in pain the next day, but enough that I'm already starting to show results. Huge surprise since I'm not losing weight, rather losing fat. Which is awesome. Not that I'm fat. According to my wife.

The routine:

1 mile on the elliptical at a 9 minute mile pace.
10 push ups, 50 crunches, 10 push ups, 50 of my modified isolation crunches, 10 push ups.
.5 mile at a 9 minute mile pace.
10 push ups, 50 crunches, 10 push ups, 50 of my modified isolation crunches, 10 push ups.
.5 mile ....

Rinse and repeat for an hour. Mixing up the type of push ups helps a lot, sometimes wide grip, or alternating grip.

The isolation crunches are a bit weird, but they work better than any other love handle killing crunch I've ever tried. Lie on your back, feet off the floor with your knees together, shoulders off the floor with your hands at your side. You're basically in the "up" position of a normal crunch, but with your hands at your side. Now just twist your hips to one side, while keeping your knees together, and reach and touch the side of your shoe with your fingertips. Same thing on the other side. It feels kind of like some weird skiing maneuver, however you'll soon be cursing yourself with the effective torture you're putting your abdominal muscles through. Maybe that's why I haven't been gassy, I've tied my innards into knots and I no longer have the strength to fart.

Anyhoo. By about the 3 mile mark my run time starts slipping by about 5 to 10 seconds. By the end of the hour (usually about the 4, maybe 4.5 mile mark) I'm toast.

On Saturday I did the above for my usual hour, followed by about half an hour in the weight room, and another 40 minutes running. If I can get off my ass on tuesdays and thursdays (the days the Navy says I don't have to work out) and do this same routine, with my saturday session of hell, I should be a super sexy beast in no time.

Truth be told, I don't care about all that, I just want my pot belly to go away. I know it's not bad, but I haven't felt comfortable being without a shirt since I was in high school. And that includes in the privacy of my own home.

And on that note, I'm going to continue watching season 4 of Smallville. Yes I'm a geek. Kiss my toned buttocks.

Can you lol harder? So stupid my friend, so stupid.

2008-03-07T05:31:08Z

This is a verbatim copy of a review of an Intel motherboard.

<tr><td class="font_size3">REVIEW BY: Reviewed Feb 23, 2008</td>
This is a great board and exptremely stable like most 975 chipset. Only problem is that the 975 chipset is gettign kind of old and the price ont hisu thing should go down a bit. I lol at some of the reviews of this board , especially the guy saying that this board blows up power supply , you are an idiot my friend and the guy saying he has problems installing drivers in windows vista and gets lot of BSOd can you lol harder? And the first reviews saying this board has no integrated video and its not posting into bios? maybe try and buy a graphic card and plug your monitor to it doh? So stupid</td></tr>

The fact is, it doesn't matter what the review is of, or where it came from. What matters is that people like this are not only allowed out in public but they're allowed to voice their opinions in a public forum.

I'm a huge proponent of freedom of speech. On the other hand, I also strongly believe that stupid people shouldn't breed. I'm also fond of euthanasia for stupid people. Preferably public. Euthanasia is typically used to relieve extreme, untreatable pain and suffering. If I'm the one suffering, it's still technically euthanasia right?

I've been up too long, I was forced to be around smokers while they were smoking, I've been listening to very old industrial music, and I've been working with photoshop for about five hours straight. I'm in a bit of a strange mood, and I'm forced to lol harder at myself for my doh.

New NIN Album

2008-03-06T03:57:30Z

Admittedly I've not read anything about this album, I grabbed it purely out of curiosity. For all I know this could be a tribute album. I used to be a huge NIN fan, lost interest for a while, regained it, lost it again, and now I think I might have regained it again. I have not followed the industrial scene at all since I saw Einsturzende Neubauten play with Miranda Sex Garden in Seattle umpteenbazillion years ago. Which was an incredible show by the way, though damned if I can remember where they played. Or what year. Okay, so it was May 4th 1993 at Oz. No, I didn't remember, I use my digital memory, it's called the Internet. But anyway, I digress.

Trent Reznor has come a very long way from Pretty Hate Machine. I've never thought of him as purely an industrial musician, or purely an electronic musician. Regardless of how some would classify him, his music has always been... enveloping. His breadth as a musician has obviously taken great strides, and he has continued to develop a unique voice. The differences betwen Ghosts and Pretty Hate Machine are too many to count, but there are certain thematic elements that are constant and make this album recognizably NIN. Elements like the sound of a piece of metal being beaten in the background, but just a little bent, making it sound like someone took the triangle off of grandma's porch, dragged it behind their pickup truck for a day and brought it back just in time for her to beat it into submission, ringing the cow hands in to dinner. Or Reznor's patented oversaturated guitar, shockingly overlayed atop a more melodic, almost simplistic guitar track. Or the disturbingly soothing and complementary piano interspersed throughout. All of the elements that make a NIN album are here, just a bit more refined with age.

It reminds me a lot of a soundtrack. Not exactly your typical soundtrack though, think of it as a soundtrack that was the main focal point of the film, where the pictures are secondary to the music. And of course it's not exactly your typical movie either, it's the kind of movie that's made by the bastard love child of David Lynch (circa Blue Velvet) and Terry Gilliam (circa Brazil), then beaten with a copper pipe (it makes a better sound than a lead pipe), hit gently by a freight train, crumpled up, and disposed of in the universe of Jean-Pierre Jeunut's City of Lost Children. I think because of the lack of vocals it lends itself to a more cinematic feel.

I give it 3.5/4 wrenches, and one box cutter. Because box cutters are cool damnit.

Time for a rant...

2008-03-03T22:38:01Z

Mmmmkay, so a month or so ago I got my eyeballs zapped, no more glasses for me, woohoo. Except now, and for the next year or so I'm beholden to eyedrops. I go through a lot of eyedrops. The single serving kind are about $20 for a jumbo pack that lasts just under 2 weeks. The kind in the bottle, which I can now start using are about $25 for 2 bottles. Okay, so there is a lot more liquid in the 2 pack, but still, it's really just water with 0.5% Carboxymethylcellulose sodium. I can't imagine that this substance is so difficult to create that it warrants such a high cost.

The grand total for 1.5 bags of stuff at the local CVS pharmacy place was $72. Inclusive of the eyedrops, a pound of coffee, a bag of orange slices, and a 6 pack of Heineken. WTF? Sigh.

Next on the list is a traditional favorite; What the hell is the deal with TV these days? It sucks monkey balls. 700 channels of crap. So what brings it up now? They moved one of my favorite channels to channel 238. The TV only goes to 84. No more Nasa TV for me. :(

Yeah, I said Nasa TV. As in NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I like the science programs and getting to watch the astronauts on the space station doing space walks and other astronaut stuff.

And if you've got a problem with that feel to pick a fight because I still haven't learned to channel my aggression now that I've quit smoking.

BRING IT.

A year ago today...

2007-11-01T01:46:25Z

A year ago today, give or take a couple hours, I was on my way to the airport to pick up the woman who would later become my wife. She was returning from Germany, and we had only had one real official date, not counting the hour or so we spent talking at Elliots the first day we met.

I remember thinking to myself on the way to the airport that since she had been in Germany for 2 weeks, and that our relationship was really in it's fledgling state, I had to make a point of breaking the ice physically with her right away. I knew I would have to greet her with a kiss. I was nervous. Incredibly nervous. Butterflies in the tummy nervous. Three cigarettes, and twice as many mints nervous.

I almost didn't do it, but at that moment when I saw her, I felt that the difference between just being friends and having the potential of something more hinged on that very choice.

I kissed her and held her hand as we walked through the terminal looking for her luggage, and I've been holding her hand ever since.

Thank you me, for listening to me.

And thank you Kristina for kissing me back.

Verizon Haxorz

2007-05-21T00:05:11Z

So today I embarked on a quest to install my Kristina ringtone on my new phone. Before I left we killed off my TMobile account, and got both of us set up on the family plan with Verizon. In doing so I also got a new phone. New Razr, the V3m, good shiznit. Sure they're not the best phones out there, but I like how slim they are. On my laptop I have the Motorola Phone Tools installed that allows me to back up all my phone numbers and such, and it also allows you to transfer files to and from your phone, like ringtones and images.

The only problem is Verizon disables the file transfer capability. So I did a bit of digging around on the net, and it is possible to do. But it's not an easy thing to do. To make a long story short, it involves downloading two different applications, and sector editing your phone. And hoping you don't mess something up and break your phone. Either way, after about 3 hours (mostly waiting, dialup is slow) I once again have my Carbon Leaf ringtone (which is just for my sweet KJunk) and my favorite background installed on my phone.

Yup, that was my excitement for the day.

Yesterday I went with a couple of the other guys from my ship to Mobile, picked up a cheap used PS2, a couple games, and discovered that just about the only thing down south that *doesn't* have meat in it is water. And even that is questionable. The best thing I've had to eat since getting down here was a bite of collard greens. This place blows.

A taste of home...

2007-05-19T05:45:47Z

Home is now 936 miles away. Never has home felt so far away.

I fully realize, and accept the fact that I signed the paperwork that says the government can send me wherever it wants. On the one hand, I'm so deeply grateful for the strange twists and turns the Navy has thrown my way. Without it, well, I would probably still be in Seattle, doing god knows what, and I certainly wouldn't have met Kristina. On the other hand, I find it deeply unfair that I get married to the most wonderful woman I've ever known, move into a fantastic house, and celebrate my 35th birthday only to be sent nearly a thousand miles away for an undisclosed amount of time. Yes, that's the reality of being in the military, but in all honesty, there is no reason why I should be down here. There's nothing to do. The ship is so very far from completion that it serves no real purpose for me being here. If the ship were closer to being done I could see being down here, but after visiting the ship, swarming with people running cables, furiously wielding torches and grinders, I have witnessed just how very far away from being finished the Truxtun really is. Walking around that ship is like walking through some dark, sweaty, subway access tunnel, thronging with people, all hurriedly making noise.

Pascagoula, although I'm sure it has it's own particular unique charms (doubtful), it's pretty much a cesspool. Okay, so that may be a bit harsh. I've yet to discover it's charms. But it does have some major strikes against it...

This area is still recovering from Katrina. At one point, it had excellent EVDO coverage, which would have given me high speed internet access, well, those cell towers got washed away, and it's going to be about a year before it's restored. I'm considering seeing if I can get satellite internet by dangling a dish out my barracks room window, there are no other alternatives. No DSL to the room, no cable. Nada. Yes, I can cope with that, I'm working with dialup right now, and it sucks, but I can check my email at least. As long as we don't get another hurricane through here, the problem should rectify itself in time. Which brings me to strike 2...

"They" say this is going to be a very active hurricane season. When I say that this area is still recovering from Katrina, I really do mean it. Today we got a little tour of the area. One of our chiefs and our supply officer took us out to the nearest naval base, which is in Biloxi, about 30 minutes away. On the way back we took the "scenic" route. We drove down I-10, on the waterfront, where the first thing that struck me was the miles of beach side boardwalk that still lay in shattered ruins. The buildings that have survived, survive as husks. Those structures over one story tall, look almost alien with the walls between the first and second floors completely swept away. Only the strongest parts of the buildings remain, steel beams, elevator shafts, everything else is gone. As for the single story buildings, only the concrete of the foundations remain. What is truly odd is amidst all this destruction multi-million dollar casinos and condo complexes have sprung up. Beautifully manicured grounds surrounding perfectly groomed towers, next to a giant pile of twisted building remains. I'll have to take my camera out there, to say it's striking is an understatement, and I haven't yet been to New Orleans, which is apparently still in ruins.

The heat here is bad, intense physical activity, like PT, is just not safe past 9am. When I rolled in last sunday, it was about 95 degrees. Apparently it gets much worse.

The insects are amazing, roaches the size of large mice, flying things that look like they are better suited to annoying dinosaurs.

Heat and insects I can get used to, but Pascagoula is also home to a cat food factory. If you've ever had your cat belch on you after a particularly satisfying bowl of nasty kitty nummies, then you are familiar, in part, with the smell. Now multiply that smell by some outrageous number. That's about how it smells. The worst part is that the smell doesn't just stay outside, every once in a while you get a blast of it seeping in through the ventilation, or from under the door. You can't escape it.

The worst thing of all though, is that I'm listening to Carbon Leaf, and drinking a beer nearly a thousand miles away from the woman I love more than life itself. Not an hour goes by that I don't realize that I am intensely homesick...

So it goes.

2007-04-12T16:11:19Z

Yeah, so I haven't posted in a while. Not much has been happening. However, sometimes, something pops up that I just have to comment on.

Last night, Kurt Vonnegut Jr. died at the age of 84 after suffering irreversible brain injuries from a fall he had several weeks ago.

He was one of my favorite authors of all time, in my opinion the best modern american author, and he will be sorely missed.

If you've never read one of his books, I strongly recommend picking up Slaughterhouse Five, Cat's Cradle, and Breakfast of Champions. Each of those books had a massive impact on my life, and they are sure to make a life shift in anyone.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Dies at 84

...

2007-02-21T18:11:12Z

Seems I've finally been totally accepted into the household here. Today when I came home, before I changed, I stopped by the edge of the couch to give little Daphne some scritches behind the ear. Two scritches later I have two full sets of claws embedded in my hands. She went totally apeshit ballistic. I should have known that she was in crazy mode when I looked in her eyes and one was larger than the other. Well, more so than usual. Right now she's curled up on the chair with her fur all poofed out. *psycho* kitty.

In other news... I've been watching that series The 4400. Currently about half way through the third season. It is really quite a good series, with a good X-Files feel, but with a more consistent story line. One of the reasons I picked it up is because the story takes place in Seattle, even though the series is shot in Vancouver, British Columbia. Regardless I've spent a lot of time up there, its still the Pacific Northwest, and it reminds me of how nice it can be in that area. Particularly this last episode I watched where they went to the Vancouver Aquarium. Definitely my favorite aquarium, they have a "tropical zone" room filled with hundreds and hundreds of butterflies. What is particularly unique is that the room is open, and there is nothing to keep the butterflies from just landing on you. It's really quite a cool experience. Oooh, and they also have these really cool giant pike looking fish that look like they're made of pewter. I don't think their tank is quite big enough for them, not that they should be cooped up in a tank anyway, but they are amazingly beautiful. Ooooh, and the otters too, I loooooove the otters. Cute little buggers. Anyhoo...

My sister sent me the link to a really frakkin cool site. http://www.pandora.com/ ... Think of it as a hybrid between a music recommendation site and a web radio station. Good shiznit.

...

2007-02-12T20:25:04Z

Sometimes I amaze myself with the strange way my mind works. Looking for something sweet after lunch today, I realized I had a box of Tofutti Cuties in the freezer. Happily I jumped up, turned to Daphne and said; "Yeah, I'll bitch slap a couple of these down my pie hole and be right as rain."

Dunno where it came from, but thought it was worth sharing. Wonder what I'll bitch slap down my pie hole for dinner?

Environmental idiocy....

2007-02-11T16:54:58Z

To begin...

Hybrid-Only Car Service Launches in San Francisco

Okay, cool, good idea, particularly in areas that have a lot of people that visit for business. It's not easy finding a (good) rental car in SF when you fly in on biz, so having a good green alternative is great. Last time I tried to rent a car for a trip to SF I was left with the choices of gigantic lumbering SUV or gas guzzling "sports" car. I would have taken the sports car except for the fact that it wasn't really a sports car (we all know my views on sports cars) and I was unwilling to pay nearly $500 more for a car for the 3 days I was going to need it. Sure, I wasn't really paying for it, but the money was still coming out of my account until I could fill out a travel claim.

Anyhow. Yippee! Cool! Awesome! A green alternative! Except for one little thing......

From the article: "America's first all-hybrid executive car service, just launched in the San Francisco Bay area with a fleet of leather-seated Priuses..."

To save everyone from a rant I know they've heard from me, well, okay, a rant that Kristina has heard from me, please reference the article over here:

Vegetarian is the New Prius

Kristina has done a good job of ranting about this topic. And while I agree with her completely, my slant is a little bit different, and admittedly a lot more self centered. If I stop eating meat, and stop wearing leather, I stop supporting one of the largest industrial bases that is destroying our environment. This is my validation to drive a gas guzzling (26-40mpg is not bad) high performance (oh yeah baby) vehicle that does a mere fraction of the environmental damage that the meat industry does. Sure, I know I should be green in everything I do, but come on, we're taking small steps here, and not eating meat does a hell of a lot more for helping the environment than anything else I could do.

So yes, that kind of brings me full circle. The meat and leather industry do more to damage the environment than driving a high emission vehicle. So why do they even have leather seats as a factory option on a green car? Why would a company that is supposedly using "being green" as a marketing tool taking leather seats as an option when there are *much* nicer, much more maintainable, and greener alternatives out there? Alcantara is so similar to the look and feel of leather/suede that if you wore it to a PETA demonstration, you would have to be prepared to be covered in red paint. But it's not leather, and is in fact man made. Of course I have no idea what its really made from, but it was designed by two chemical companies, and most importantly is not leather. (I can't actually find what exactly it *is* made of, which leads me to believe that it is completely man made, but I could be wrong...)

I guess the real question is, when are these companies going to stop using being green as a marketing gimmick, do just a bit more research, and actually do something that has a great environmental impact?

WTF?

2007-02-10T18:32:11Z

This is one of those issues that just pisses me off. "Therapy" that turns gay people straight. Okay, if it's a frakkin choice that the individual in question is gay, then guess what, it's their choice and its just as valid as if it would be if it were a "medical condition". Of all the things in the world, there are a few things I hold holier than anything else, freedom of speech and freedom of choice.

The article that spurred this mini-tirade is here: Evangelist's therapy fuels "gay debate"

Some people may disagree (screw them) but "correcting" homosexuality is like trying to "fix" someone who is a leftie. It didn't work in the 50's and shouldn't even be considered now. Sure, naturally being a leftie is all brain chemistry and development. And yes, it can be argued that it is a deficiency in brain development, but who is to say that it's not the righties that are deficient? Considering how many incredibly brilliant lefties there are throughout history, particularly artists, it leads me to believe that its actually advantageous to brain chemistry to be left handed in a right handed world. Increasing the interaction between the two hemispheres of the brain is a common trick for helping the development of more efficient thinking.

So what the frak does my digression into left handedness have to do with homosexuality?

Canadian Scientists Find More Homosexuals Left-Handed

I know, strange correlation. But come on, they're Canadians, and everyone knows they're all just a bit weird. I'll leave it as a an exercise to the reader as to where to take the unfounded correlations to next.

In other news... I've been suffering from almost continual headaches for the last week or two. They range from dull ache, to full blown migraine with nausea and light sensitivity. I'll often wake up with a headache, and it just grows throughout the day. Exercise seems to help it temporarily, but make it worse later in the day. Coffee doesn't help. Sugar helps a little bit, temporarily. To top things off, twice now I've woken up in the middle of the night with nausea so bad that I thought that I was going to hurl. Here's hoping for anything except brain tumors! Woohoo!

Oh yeah

2007-01-31T20:20:52Z

And my car *doesn't* need a damn muffler. grumble grumble

Merkins!

2007-01-31T20:20:07Z

Still can't find a reputable retailer for our merkin needs, but this is a good snippet from The Guardian...

Body beautiful

A short and curly history of the merkin

Comedy terrorist Aaron Barschak has another claim to fame - he's put the merkin back in the spotlight.

Before his royal gatecrash, the prankster amused crowds and cameramen outside Windsor Castle by lifting his pink ball gown to reveal a luxuriant,black pubic wig - making him the latest in a long history of merkin-wearers.

The Oxford Companion To The Body traces the merkin back to 1450, a time when the bidet was a distant prospect and personal hygiene fell well short of the mark. Pubic lice were common -so some women, fed up with the constant itching, just shaved the lot off and then covered their modesty with a merkin.

Prostitutes,too, were frequent wearers. In the days before penicillin, it didn't take long to become infected with sexually transmitted diseases. They knew it was no work, no pay, and didn't want to scare the customers off with their syphilitic pustules and gonorrhoeal warts. So the merkin was used as a prosthesis to cover up a litany of horrors.

The Oxford Companion recounts an amusing tale of one gentleman who procured the disease-riddled merkin of a prostitute, dried it, gave it a good comb and then presented it to a cardinal, telling him he had brought him St Peter's beard. Some prostitutes even used them to give their nether regions a bit of razzle-dazzle. So a natural brunette could offer differing collars and cuffs to demanding customers.

These days, merkins are largely the preserve of sexual fetishists - although the Oxford Companion notes that this piece of "female finery" is also an "essential piece of the serious drag queen's wardrobe". They can be made from nylon, human hair or even yak's belly, depending on what the erotic dabbler enjoys feeling against her skin. And they're either woven on to a mesh and stuck on with spirit gum, or attached to a transparent G-string.

"I know a bit about merkins, but I don't know anyone who wears one and won't be designing one myself," says Redor Dead founder Wayne Hemingway. "I can't see them making a comeback,but it is a bloody good word."

Would-be wearers will struggle to find any merkin retailers. "We're not 100% sure our customers would buy into the merkin," says Ann Summers spokesman Philip Tooney. "The trend at the moment is less is more - with the 'full Brazilian' and the 'landing strip' proving popular."

But fanny fashion can be fickle. And if there is a return to the dense undergrowths often seen in 70s porn flicks, then the waxed, electrolysed women of today may be reaching for a merkin until nature restores their full glory.
Gareth Francis

Hi There!

2007-01-31T19:38:57Z

Okay, so I haven't exactly been posting much lately. I've been incredibly busy. Really, totally, just super busy. More than super busy. Super duper busy.

Well, maybe not. I've spent a lot of my time doing coursework for the Navy, and studying the effects of socialization within groups of gender obscured mixed age individuals in a virtual environment. (I've been playing a lot of video games)

Kristina and I finished season 2.5 of BSG last night. I'm going to set up my bitchin monitor so that we can kick back and watch season 3. All of the media is on my portable hard drive, so I have to get a bit creative if I want to view it in such a way that is comfortable for both of us.

On a more interesting note... Nifty article on fluid dynamics in animation... Over here -> Technology Review: Making Animated Fluids Look More Realistic Check out the videos listed under the "Multimedia" section on the left hand side. CG fluids have always bugged me in movies, they just look too damn fake, but these are really impressive.

(There, I made a post. Images from NYC coming RSN.)

In other news...

2007-01-10T19:49:14Z

Zoo puts humans on display

Now that's an exhibit that might be fun to see... :)

I have a hole in my sock.

2007-01-10T19:43:35Z

Well, it's been a bit since I made an entry. I guess I've been a bit busy since I got back from Seattle, and a lot has happened, so I'll summarize. Oh, and photos are still being worked on, there are a ton of them to go through, I'm a perfectionist, so patience is a must.

Seattle 12-26 on... Boy's night out was great. Kevin crapped out, but it meant that Dad and I (and Dan, my sister's hubby) could go to Temple billiards. It's changed a fair amount, they used to serve espresso (in addition to beer), but have traded that in on hard alcohol. No smoking now too, which was weird. It was strange playing pool with my dad and not having a cup of coffee and a smoke at the same time. Dan was the overall winner, he shot incredibly well. Dad and I on the other hand sucked. I think the best run I had was maybe 3 balls, and I used to be able to pull off runs of 4 to 5 balls frequently.

Dad and I went out driving the next day to help fill out my photo collection of Seattle. Walked through Pike Place, picked up Kristina's Xmas presents (a print from one of the art galleries I like, and a gigantic collection of spices from my fave spice place) and basically just kicked around town all day. It was nice wandering with Dad, drinking coffee all day, smoking too much and talking.

I crapped out on the famous West Seattle Beer Dash. Kind of glad I did too, my sister almost started a brawl, and Dan had to be carried to his bed. I really didn't want to be hung over for the flight home. Either way I still managed to get a Beer Dash t-shirt out of it, yeah, I've got a good sis.

The trip back, well, it was 6+ hours of airports and airplanes. Somehow I made it through security without them stopping me because of the gigantic, highly fragrant bag of spices I was carrying. In fact they didn't even look at me twice. Strange, but I'm not complaining. Kristina was there to pick me up, and I have to say, she was a sight for sore eyes. Getting back home and being able to curl up with her was one of the best things that I've experienced in a long time.

On Saturday we took off for Vermont. We left too damn early in the morning, I fed K sweets to keep her awake, and we got there in the early evening. The following days in VT were great, lots of relaxing, some beer and gin rummy, a few good hikes, a rather strange first night celebration (Kristina doesn't like show tunes btw), conversations about merkins, and some good food too. Jake, Karen, Solly, Trixie, Oliver, and Lolita, you all rule. Thank you. :)

Thursday had us once again motoring off. VT to NJ where we shacked up with Richard and Keith. 2 days of NYC, and some of the best food I've had in years has made me fall completely in love with that city. I understand why people from NY are so proud of their city. I would live there in a heartbeat. Hell, I would go back just to eat at Red Bamboo again, damn that food was good. Kristina and I hit a surprisingly large amount of the city in those 2 days. We saw the bodies exhibit, the NYSE, the Manhattan BMW dealership, and a lot of the standard tourist spots. We skipped the Empire State building, it was a mistake going there on a Saturday, 60-90 minute wait to get to the top. Yeah, no thanks. Next time we'll either go during the week, or just do Top of the Rock instead. Time wise I think we spent more time in Washington Square dog park than anywhere else, puppies galore, Peter Dinklage (who was great in The Station Agent, which Kristina and I watched last night), and some of the fattest squirrels I've ever seen. I even saw an all black squirrel. Kind of like how a dove is just a classy pigeon, this little guy had all the style. It was a great trip, in fact I don't think we could have had a better way to top off the vacation than by spending time in NYC. Richard, Keith, you two rule. Thank you. :)

All things considered, it was a great xmas leave. Kristina and I are still madly in love. She passed the most major test I have of a relationship, can we travel together without killing each other. I love to travel, so it's a pretty big deal for me. Not a single fight, or even a minor annoyance. Dunno, we just seem to fit, it makes me happy.

Now coming back to "work" was not fun. I really didn't enjoy throwing the uniform back on. On the good side of things, it doesn't look like I'm going to be going out on that mini-deployment, my chief hasn't said anything to me about it, and they leave either today or tomorrow. No worries, it's all good, I'll have to go out soon enough, and I'm really enjoying just kicking back right now.

Anyway, that brings me back up to date. Although it skips over a lot of fun stuff, but the world doesn't need to know about how Kristina and I made out in Central Park anyway. ;)